The problem with being a single Latina woman in her mid twenties isn’t that half of my family thinks I’m an old maid. The problem is that I’m not expected to have this much fun.
I spent all of high school being afraid of teenage pregnancy and losing my privileges at home so I didn’t date. In college I experimented with “love” and was in a serious relationship for a really long time because I thought that’s what I supposed to want.
I’ve been single for so long that I don’t remember what its like to be in a relationship. It was obvious that being in a relationship isn’t something I want in my life right now, when I tried it again last year. I felt frustrated and trapped because I had to work my schedule around our dates. It wasn’t enough that someone liked me. I’m at a place in life where my personal needs come first.
I realize now that I am free. I was the only one responsible for putting myself in a cage by being afraid of what others thought of me. I used wait by the phone for my bf to call me because no matter how independent I claimed to be, I didn’t know any different. Now I’m the one that forgets to text back. Guys actually think that I’m always at home sleeping or reading, but while they’re at the “gym” and not texting back, I’m making out with a stranger in exchange for a palm reading.
I’m a solterona in a mini skirt, and fuck you if you think I’m gonna give that up anytime soon.
Your mother did not raise you with a wolf in your chest so you could howl over losing a man.
“Who taught you to hate the color of your skin?
Who taught you to hate the texture of your hair?
Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose and the shape of your lips?
Who taught you to hate yourself from the top of your head to the soles of your feet?
Who taught you to hate your own kind?
Who taught you to hate the race that you belong to so much so that you don’t want to be around each other?”
- Malcolm X, 1962